A Little Lipstick, a Little Vanity, and Why That’s Allowed Too

I am, admittedly, a little vain. I like a good lipstick. I like fresh flowers in my room, even small ones, even just a few stems from the grocery store. I like taking a few extra minutes on my lashes some mornings, not because anyone’s watching, just because it makes me feel like myself.

For a long time I thought that was supposed to be a footnote to the “real” work, the training, the nutrition, the deeper stuff. Like caring about how I look was a little embarrassing next to everything else I was building. I don’t think that anymore.

Nothing about this is dramatic. It’s not a full routine or a five-step ritual. It’s small. A bit of color on my lips before I leave the house. A flower on my nightstand that makes the room feel like someone lives there with intention. A few minutes with a mascara wand, just for me, before anyone else is even awake.

What it actually does is give me a moment to look in the mirror and mean it when I say, this is me. Not the version I’m supposed to be, not the version that’s still rebuilding, just this one, right now, and she gets to feel pretty too.I think we sometimes treat vanity like it’s the opposite of depth, like you have to choose between taking your inner work seriously and caring about lipstick. I don’t experience it that way. Caring for how I look is just another small practice, another way of saying I’m worth the two extra minutes. Same category as the training, the stillness, the food. Just a softer version of it.

So some mornings, it’s cortisol and protein and a training plan. And some mornings, it’s just a flower and a lip color and a minute in front of the mirror, deciding I’m allowed to feel good about what I see.

Both are the practice. Both are allowed.

As within, so without.